It might be hard to believe, but you have a unique beauty that God finds to be of great value. And you can find it in 1 Peter 3:4.
So, what is this beauty of great value? It's that of a gentle and quiet spirit.
But, unleashing this beauty can be challenging when you are on different pages spiritually. I have had someone share with me recently that they have been both a loud wife and a quiet wife.
I felt that because I have been both of these wives too!
The Root of Loud
Many won't want to hear this, but the root cause of being loud and argumentative is selfishness. We want what we want, and we are willing to do whatever it takes to get it.
As believing wives, we want to walk through the church doors hand in hand with our husbands. We want people to see we have a good wholesome Christian marriage.
We want to be encouraged and supported by having our husbands pray over us without asking. And, we want our children to see the presence of God at the center of our marriage.
There is nothing wrong with wanting these things. But, when it becomes more about us than the glory of God, that is where we get off track, and that is where we begin to get loud.
If you are caught in a cycle of being the loud wife, I want you to ask yourself what that might be about?
Is it because you are angry with the enemy?
Is it because you want your marriage to appear a certain way?
Is it a combination of both?
For me personally, it was a combination of both. I was angry because I could see the enemy's presence in my marriage and I felt frustrated a lot of times because I felt like I didn't have control.
I also wanted to appear a certain way. This is dangerous because we should be more worried about how we appear to God than other people.
Unleashing the Quiet and Gentle Spirit
Before diving into this, let me say that a quiet and gentle spirit is not a doormat. It does not mean you are unable to set healthy relationship boundaries.
Let's look at some definitions.
1.) According to Baker's Evangelical Dictionary of Biblical Theology, gentleness is defined as "sensitivity of disposition and kindness of behavior, founded on strength and prompted by love."
2.) According to the International Standard Bible Encyclopedia, the word quiet means to be at ease.
So, when you put these two together, the unfading beauty of a quiet and gentle spirit is a wife who is at ease and shows kindness prompted by love.
I think all of us at some point have shown our husbands kindness out of love, at least, I hope we have. But, it's that being at ease part that gets a lot of wives who are unequally yoked.
Where is your hope today?
Where is your trust?
Are you resting in Jesus?
It's through our Lord and Savior that we find the strength to be at ease when it seems like the enemy has his hands all over our marriage or our husbands. It's through our Lord that we find hope.
I want to encourage you to take those things hurting your heart the most to Jesus before taking them to your husband. Let God prepare your heart and your husband's hearts for conversations.
Ask God for the wisdom of when you should speak and when you shouldn't. What you should say and what you shouldn't.
I know that reading this is different from doing, which can be a challenge. That's why I started my business, Unshakable Faith Coaching.
I help wives who are stressed, frustrated, confused, sad, lonely, and hopeless week to week move into a different space. Where they can be at peace with their husband's current faith life, step into the leadership role God designed for wives with confidence and joy, and strengthen their prayer life with a higher level of hope and faith.
I would like to invite you to our Facebook Community, Christian Wives With Unshakable Faith, if you would like to connect with me more and be around a group of women facing similar challenges.
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